Blank Spaces

I’ve got blacked out places in  my memory.

Like a movie

I can hear the steady crescendo

The colors soften

Time slows

And then black.

Like standing in that bathroom.

Not more than 4 years old

Hearing the words I’ve heard in a thousand pop songs since then

And then black.

And it scares me to think what goes there.

What could’ve happened in that place where I wrote cursive letters in the steam?

But I will never know.

All I know is that I will never have that last piece.

And yet it still keeps coming back to me.

Mulling over those moments

When its quite possible I stopped being a child

And became something more broken.

But I can never answer my own question.

And I can’t remember most things for the next 3 years

Just cuts and pieces

Bright colors and sot voices

But mostly just the blanks spaces.

Mostly just the blank places.