What's going on here?

What's going on here?
Well Amanda and Emily both have goals to write more. Amanda wants to write a poem and a half a day for the next year, while Emily wants to write for National Write a Novel Month (NaNoWriMo), which is usually in November, but she is going to do it from now until her mission on May 18th. Here is were you can follow us in our goals! Leave comments, encouragement, and what ever else you feel like.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

To the Place Holder

You were a place holder.
Something to keep me feeling okay till I found something better.
I thought you were the end game at the time
But now I realize you were just a marker.
Something that would allow me to stay alive till I got somewhere else.
I still miss you.
I still am angry.
I still don’t regret what happened.
Because I really did trust you.
And that was hard to break
But worth the trust I invested.
So I still check your page.
See how you are.
Look through your pictures.
And I just get angry.
I just want to scream at you and ask you why
But I know why.
Well I know what you told me.
But it still hurts.
Hurts that you got all of our friends in the divorce.
The people who laughed with me, held my hand, made me smile
They all chose you.
And I don’t care anymore.
I don’t care anymore.
I don’t care anymore.
Okay I’m lying.
But I wish it was true.
Someday I’m going to be over this.
I’m going to think “how did I spend that summer?
Oh that’s right. I spent it with them.
Wonder what happened to them.”
But now at this moment
I’m still seething.
I’m still bitter and wishing I never trusted you completely.
But it was worth it
Because I’m coming to realize you were a place holder
Something to bide my time until I met my tribe.
The people I can actually trust.
So goodbye
I won’t bother you again.
Who has a need of the marker when they’ve found their mark?
I’m not to the point where I could thank you.
It’ll be many years.
But for now,
A cordial goodbye.
I hope you rot in hell. 

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