What's going on here?

What's going on here?
Well Amanda and Emily both have goals to write more. Amanda wants to write a poem and a half a day for the next year, while Emily wants to write for National Write a Novel Month (NaNoWriMo), which is usually in November, but she is going to do it from now until her mission on May 18th. Here is were you can follow us in our goals! Leave comments, encouragement, and what ever else you feel like.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

String Puppet

My whole life I’ve had a string hanging from the middle of my back.

And when you'd pull that string my mouth would open and I would say

"I hate who I am. I hate who I am".

And I could spit out all the nonjudgmental bullshit I could stomach

But when that string was pulled

The truth was what spilled forth.

And for the longest time I thought that was it.

End of story.

I am who I am and that’s all I can be.

But you came into my life.

Yes you came into it,

Not me subtly coaxing you with tricks and songs

But you willfully entered into my life.

And I thought it was pity

Thought that everyone around me including you was in on some giant joke

A joke that would culminate in that string being pulled on my back.

But that never came.

The shit never hit the fan.

I was waiting and then it ended.

Just like you came in you left.

You left without little as a word and I waited for the string.

The string of me whispering

"I hate who I am. I hate who I am"

But it never did.

Those words never escaped my lips.

And the other day I caught a glimpse of my back in a mirror

And I saw that string.

A string short and hard to see.

Something almost invisible.

And I don't know what you did

But that string is nearly gone.

That string of thoughts and images and people that told me I wasn't worth anything.

And I don't know how you did it

But somewhere between entering and exiting you minimized that string.

And you probably don't know that

And you probably never will.

You never meant for it to change me but it did.

And i stand before you now someone new.

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