What's going on here?

What's going on here?
Well Amanda and Emily both have goals to write more. Amanda wants to write a poem and a half a day for the next year, while Emily wants to write for National Write a Novel Month (NaNoWriMo), which is usually in November, but she is going to do it from now until her mission on May 18th. Here is were you can follow us in our goals! Leave comments, encouragement, and what ever else you feel like.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Scar Tissue

She found that words had more weight when she carved them into her skin.
They meant more when she went over
And over
And over
And over
Them with her little razor blade.
So she rolled up her sweats and carved words all along her thighs.
Words like loveless
ugly
 broken
lost.
Words she’d heard on street corners and at the dinner table since she was born.
Words that rattled in her head when she tried to sleep.
So she carved them in
Like epitaphs on tombstones
Like inscriptions underneath faceless statues
Like the words that are supposed to be next to every picture
You pin to a museum wall.
Calling out to what she was.
But she wasn’t those things.
She wasn’t ugly
Or loveless
Or broken
But she was lost.
And every time she etched those words into her thighs
They got a little bit darker
The words sunk
A little bit deeper.
Until that was all she was.
A loveless
Broken
Lost
Ugly girl.
With scars that had long overrun her thighs
And had spread across her like
The toddler settlers of old grabbing any land they could hold.
And so now she’s got words like
Loser
Hypocrite
Bitter
Etched across her forearms.
And I wish there was a happy ending.
I wish there was some man
With glistening eyes
And a kind smile
To spread his fingers across her scars
And say
“None of this is true.
None of it is true.”
But there wasn’t
And she’s still got the words etched in her skin
But now she’s writing whole paragraphs across her belly.
Telling the child inside her that she hopes
It won’t be anything like her.

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