I saw an angel child on the train today.
Eyes full of the light I’d given away.
Singing and talking
Hands covered in little black mittens.
Little hands that danced and swayed
As if conducting music that I couldn’t hear.
They danced over rainbows and trees
As he explained things I’d lost sight of.
He told me about what it was to be a child.
What it was to see through his eyes.
And then he looked at me.
He looked me right in the eyes.
Looked at me and I’ve never felt more solid.
More planted to this planet.
I’ve been looked through a thousand times.
Seen as bits and pieces.
Seen as a good daughter
Seen as a bad lover.
Seen as a decent teacher.
Seen as a slacker student.
But it’s been awhile since I’ve been whole.
Since I was seen for everything I am.
Since I was put together by someone and they didn’t dash it all back to pieces.
And he looked at me.
He looked at me and didn’t shrink back.
And I felt whole again.
And then he left.
Dragged along by his father
Clasped onto by that little black mitten.
And I was left on a train of strangers
People either seeing bits and pieces
Or simply seeing through
And I wished my eyes shone.
I wished I had little black mittens
Wished I could make them dance
and tell the man across from me a story of giraffes and rainbows.
I wished I could fill my whole body up
With the love of the world and everyone around me.
But I’ve had too many holes poked through this skin.
All my light shines out
Escaping to the dark places I’ve frequented.