Scared of the social faux pas
Of expressing too much emotion.
Too much honesty.
That’s what I’m full of.
Pure, rotten, filled up emotion.
And sometimes when I open my mouth
It comes tumbling out
Like a 3 year old with too big shoes
He’ll someday grow into.
But I don’t know.
I don’t know the people who don’t feel attached to me enough
To think emotion of this caliber is acceptable.
Because I’ve got tentacles instead of hands
Pulling in things that don’t know they’re mine now.
People who don’t know they’re mine.
People who don’t realize I’ve adopted them into this strange tribe of mine.
Calling them by the names I just learned to pronounce
Saying things like “you mean the world to me”
Because in my eyes the world is in each person
And I’ve got so much emotion
And it comes tumbling out.
So I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I’m not built like the rest of you
With this rise and fall gate
Keeping the floodwaters of true expression inside
I just let it flow
If I think I should say it
And if I think I should tell them
We tell people to listen to their heart when they’re making decisions
But what about the rest of the time
Are your hearts simply lying there pumping blood?
Because it seems mine won’t shut up.
All I know is
I’ve been criticized
Far too many times for speaking with my heart.
And I’m scared.
I’ve grown scared.
Scared of the left hook to the right ventricle that always seems to accompany
This overflow of emotion.
Which one of the people I thought loved me
Is going to turn out to be a stranger?