I told you what I thought love was.
What my personal definition
Of these mixed up, guts-stew, feelings I’ve had is.
And you said it wasn’t your style.
It wasn’t the way you’d hear me say it.
It wasn’t the answer.
And it got me down.
I’ll be honest it got me down
To hear someone I so love
I so adore
Say they didn’t jive to the groove I’d created.
But I had an epiphany this morning.
An epiphany that shook loose the epiphany I had earlier this week
About how you were talking lust and I was talking love.
No, I finally got it.
We’re just grasping at words.
You and I know nothing.
We are ants on the mole hill on the mountain of life.
We know nothing.
And yet here we are painting with words.
Mixing and combing the best we can.
Trying to sew together something
That resembles what we’ve known.
And you and I have known so many different things.
So many world apart things.
And you think you know what I’ve felt.
I can see it in your eyes when you look at me.
And you think you know where I’ve been
And the roads I’ve kicked cans down.
But you have no idea.
You see the papier-mâché mask I built when I was 8.
And I’ll tell you the truth.
I see the same of you.
I only see the mask you’ve showed me the last 7 months
And the pop culture image you built in that town.
So I’m sorry.
I can’t hold it against you for not seeing what I was saying
When I’ve never been able to see what you were saying.
You and I think we’re so smart.
Think we know the things that the other is swimming through.
And we don’t.
We won’t until we finally break down this big bad wall we built
To keep our artist egos from being bruised.
So I forgive you for the shower cries you gave me.
I forgive you for the cringing
The teeth grinding
The knuckles crackling anger.
And I hope you do the same.
I don’t know if I’ve made you angry the way you make me
But I know I’ve pushed some buttons just to watch the fire.
I’ve swung fists just to see if you’d duck.
So here it is.
From one artist to another.
We thought we were trying to describe the same thing
But we ain’t never known the same things.
So I won’t judge you on your mask
But I can only hope you will stop judging me on mine.
But for now I’ll let it go.
The deep down dark dank soul rankling grudge I got against you.
I’m gonna take a page out of that book we read that one time
And let it go.