McCarthyism-Blacklisted

I did my best.

That’s all I can say now.

You covered my face with a hood of gossip and lies.

So when you insulted me and tried to break my spirit

You wouldn’t have to look in my eyes.

But if you knew me.

If you did your job and ever took a minute to talk to me

Rather than deligating to your lackeys

You’d know.

You know I’m a good person.

I’m honest and kind.

I’m protective and caring.

And I may expect the absolute best out of people

But I’ve got a heart that spans this country.

So you can fire me.

You can believe the lies.

And spit them at me.

But know this pain you caused is temporary.

This moment will pass.

Your words will fade into darkness

As I stand in my own spotlight.

But those kids?

They’ll be crippled forever.

You taught them lies and slander will get them what they want.

You showed them that if they scream and stamp their feet loud enough things will go their way.

But I’ve been alive long enough to know that not true.

You say I’m cruel, manipulative and abusive

But if you knew me.

If you really knew me

You’d know nothing could be farther from the truth

My heart may heal from your words but it never will knowing those girls were legitimately scared of me.

I swore to myself I’d never hurt another person the way I was hurt.

But if that’s true than I’ve broken my own promise.

My will carry the scar from these two weeks longer than you’ll remember my name.

You told me to think about what I’ve done

But I’ve thought it over

And the tears still prick my eyes for any girl who was afraid, but not for what you said.

Because if you want to see manipulative

You go look in the mirror.

If you want to see cruel

Stare into yourself.

If you want abusive

Look at the generations of selfish prideful children you’ve handicapped.

I did my best.

I’m sorry if those girls were scared

But it was because I was someone they’d never seen before.

Someone who didn’t kiss every bruised knee.

Who didn’t applaud every step outside their bed.

A person who forced them to get down on their hands and knees and scrub the floors till they shone.

I never knew a silver spoon.

And I tried to teach them what it was

To live away from the gold umbilical.

But you should’ve know that.

You should’ve know my rough and tumble background wouldn’t stand for upper east side princesses.

So you think you stamped me out.

Put out the flame inside my heart with your quick assault.

But when I stand before the world with palms open and arms up high

Who will be cringing?

Who will be ashamed?

Who will be the one in regret?

Because it’s not gonna be me.

I did my best.

I did my best and my conscious is clear.