You're Pretty in Pink

I was ashamed.

Ashamed of the way I felt for you.

Part of it was because I was taught

Emotions make you weak.

If people know how you really feel

They can hurt you.

But it was also because,,,

I knew it was dumb.

Dumb for me to have such deep controlling feelings about you.

About someone who never let anyone past the surface.

It was dumb to feel a connection with someone

Who spent their whole life aloof.

It was like I was back in 7^th grade.

Crushing hard on the star basketball player while I spent all my time in the band room.

I knew it was stupid to feel for you like I did.

But I guess I’ve just watched too many 80’s movies.

I am not Andy,

I am not the girl from 16 candles,

I am not any of Molly Ringwald’s characters.

Instead I am Ducky.

I am the one who spends years trying to work up the courage

And just watched you walk away.

But that’s okay

Because I knew it was dumb from the start.

Dumb for feeling the way I did.

It’s like some form of hubris.

My fatal flaw.

Always falling for the emotionally unavailable.

But that’s okay now.

I can say your name out loud now.

I can admit something now.

But you still won’t hear it.

You never heard it.

Andy never understood what she did to Ducky

When she walked away.

But I do.