Throwing off the Chains

I never got to tell you how I felt.

Not when I loved you,

Not when I hated you.

You were always protected by some girl I cared about more than you.

First her and now the other her.

But I’m still looking at your pictures and wishing I could say the words.

Wishing I could say how you mistreated me.

How you prejudged me.

How you misunderstood me.

I once worshiped the ground you walk on

And now I know the plague and famine follow you wherever you go.

But I respect your wife too much.

Too much to tell her how you treated people.

And I know you don't have the conscious to feel bad for what you did.

I used to think you were so great.

So tall,

So holy,

But now I know you for the worm you are.

A disgusting creature who makes me shiver with thoughts of his cruelty.

You think you're so strong.

So proud of what you've done

But behind you is a wake of people who know you for what you've really done.
The broken hearts

The stabbed backs

The whispered lies.

Yes I knew all too much to fall for the holy man act that you swore was the real you.

It wouldn't matter so much

If people I thought deserved better

Weren’t still under your spell.

Weren’t still blinded by the cataracts of your initial presentation.

So I never got to tell you how I really felt

Both when I loved you and now when I hate you

But I can say this.

You opened my eyes.

Opened them to the way that not everyone has a good heart.

Not everyone means what they say.

Not everyone is honest but sometimes

It’s worth it to give in to them for a bit.

So now I hate you.

When I see your face my eyes get tight my stomach turns and my teeth clench.

In other words

You disgust me,

But I never regretted being under your spell.

Goodbye.

Goodbye to you slinging bull.

Goodbye to your passive aggressive behavior.

Goodbye to the mann.