Once Time Lovers

Remember the time I spun you round my fingers?

Wrapped your spine around these sausage appendages

And whispered lullabies to you?

Remember the way we felt warm?

Knowing we were just using each other.

Pulling the skin off each others bones

Just to heat ourselves a little longer?

Oh the innocence of broken hearts.

Oh the magnificence of completely understanding a moment.

Oh the delicious sickly sweetness we found in using each other.

Two broken people

Clawing at darkness .

Trying to wrap our fingers around something

So we knew we weren’t alone out there.

Remember what I told when you left?

That I would never hold you to this?

That I would never nail you down

To a wooden cross made out of the street signs where we met?

How I would never whisper words of this

To friends as if to leave little bread crumbs

So someday when you’re hungry again

You could find me wherever I wandered?

I wish I’d never made that promise.

I wish I had never stuck to guns

Denying ourselves something

That though delicious and fruitful at the start

We both know would blow up.

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to face the shrapnel.

Open the blaze with welcoming arms.

Enveloping in gas and wrapping myself in fire

Just like I wrapped my bones in your old skin.

But I haven’t heard from you in many months.

Haven’t seen your face.

Smelled your skin.

Heard your lisp.

And that’s okay

Because I’m living up to expectations.

Peering down into this cup

Not wondering when you’ll be around.

Not wondering when I’ll see you next.

Not wondering if I’ll ever find you again.

I am just thinking of the time

I wrapped your spine around my fingers

And I whispered lullabies to you.

Keeping warm by the nuclear implosion of each other’s hearts.