I Wish I Had the Answer

I wish I had the answer to us.

This waltz that we do.

It’s not fair to either of us this constant tug-o-war on heart strings.

 At one point I was ready to be someone else.

 Someone full and complete.

I was ready to be that person for you

But I know differently now.

I am a current work.

 Something never quite done.

Undergoing constant construction.

 You need stable.

 You need solid ground.

You need a kitchen and 2.5 kids.

 I need open air.

 I need the constant rush of the world around me.

I need to breathe in something new every day.

 Or I wither and die.

 I am no longer the girl you fell in love with.

 The girl that remains then is a hollow shell.

 I wish you knew how badly I wanted it to workout.

I wish you knew what it was for me to be willing to sacrifice my whole self.

But for now it will never be.

So some nights I miss the feel of your body next to mine.

 Sometimes I miss your intertwining fingers.

 But if know I can never have them back.